I know I shouldn't be doing this on my blog but really, I have to let out all this frustration as a writer.
I work hard. Very hard. I spend hours each day writing and doing promotions for my books. I've spent hundreds of rands on adverts.
Why don't I get sales? I know I haven't seen my sales reports since I've placed the adverts. I sincerely hope they have changed things.
Why, when I hold a giveaway on my blog and Facebook for my latest release, only one person enters to win my book? Are my books that bad? Does no one want to win a copy of my book because they've read my previous books and really, they're not worth the time? If that is the case, why did the publishers publish my books?
I get so few reviews on my books. I give away so many free copies and no one takes the time to review them. Cosmetic Heart came out in July. It's still sitting on Amazon with one pathetic 3-star review. It hurts. It's hard work to organise a giveaway and even more so to write and edit a book. It's really, really hard work. I hardly watch TV or do relaxation things. I write in my free time. That's my passion and I love it.
I will never stop doing it but I still wish I had a feeling that people liked my books.
The crazy thing is when someone does love my book, I don't believe them. I think they're just being kind and making me feel good. Do all writers feel this way about their babies?
As writers, we really do hang onto those scathing reviews in our hearts, those terrible ranking figures on Amazon, those days when no one enters our giveaways or even reads our blog posts. We think of those and we forget the good reviews, the readers who say they love our books (although I really wish I had more of those so I didn't think it is a handful of rather crazy fans.) Why don't we ride on the wave of those positive reviews and new contracts?
Many days, I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What should I change about my writing to make it more popular? What do readers look for? Should I change my whole writing personality to make sales? Am I wasting my time?
Or do I see it as a business and keep on writing, keep on promoting and never give up? I have to do this because I can't give up. Just like those long years of waiting for a publishing contract, so I'm waiting for that breakthrough - for my books to be noticed in cyber space. No seriously, there are just so many writers out there and so many blogs and so many books. How do you get noticed? There are so many giveaways to enter that it's overwhelming. I don't have time to enter them all myself. I don't have time or the finances to read every gorgeous book I discover on the web. So, I don't blame a single soul for my dilemma.
Maybe it's best to build a loyal fan base, one person at a time. Start small and then grow with loyalty, networking and time. Write and write until one day my book touches hearts, several hearts. It's good to dream.
I'm not going to give up but I had to let out all the hurt and frustration and disappointment. It's just one of those days.