Wednesday, May 18, 2016
The Things about Being Forty-five
Today, I'm in the mood for doing light and funny, so here goes.
I was just thinking about how I've changed over the years - some of the changes have been slow and some more immediate, but these are a few of the things about being forty-five:
1. Pet peeve - when a recipe talks down to me. I've been cooking and baking for years now. Please don't tell me to mix until well-combined or to sift the flour or to scrape down the sides of the mixing bowl to make sure all the mixture gets combined. I know, some people may need that, but really, you're just wasting my reading time and my cooking time. Simple is best for recipes! Sometimes I like figuring out how to do it myself with just the ingredients.
2. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't like to listen to an instructional / coaching / life wisdom video or follow a You Tube workout video (which I do often) by a twenty-year old. It sounds really arrogant and I would have been most upset twenty years ago if you'd said something like that. It's just, I want someone with experience if I'm going to learn something from them. It's so wrong, because I know they probably know more about yoga or whatever it is than I do, but still, I feel cheated, like I'm going to get half of the info.
3. Instead of waking up on a winter's morning shivery and cold, even with about three layers on, and wanting to cuddle up to hubby, the tables have turned. Now I want to kick off the blankets, don't often wear socks, and love it when he warms up his cold hands on my bare tummy. Maybe something to do with peri-menopause, I have no idea.
4. I care a lot less what people think of me. As a young twenty or thirty year old I was an intense people-pleaser. Now, I like to go my own way and if you don't like it, tough cookie! It's my life and I have one life to live and am about halfway through if I do well, so I'm going to look after this soul here. It's very liberating.
5. I don't get that broodiness I used to get when someone I knew had a baby. In my thirties I used to secretly wish a late accidental baby would be sprung upon us and I would get that soft bundle again to cuddle. I do not feel the same way anymore. I'm waiting for my grandchildren who I can hand back when they have colic or when I have something I need to do. I can't imagine sleepless nights anymore (I love my sleep) or buckets of nappies to wash (we did the towelling route and environmental me would probably go the same way again) and breast pumps, and puréeing food into a browny-green mush then trying to feed them to a reluctant baby. Or worst of all, labour pains and the horrible expectation of going through them for nine months.
6. I used to love high-impact aerobics and jogging to work myself towards a 10km race, now I'll stick to gentle yoga, thanks, where I get to relax, breathe and stretch in between working out my muscles. Even parkrun sucks and that's only 5km. I think that's more a fitness issue, but I prefer gentle walking now and using it to brainstorm my plots than pushing myself to get a best time.
7. Life is too short to stress about what's on my plate and whether I'm eating ultra-healthy. Dieting and food obsession can take over our lives and I'd rather think about other things. Food is fuel, not medicine.
8. Cleanliness is not next to godliness. Okay, I don't like to live in a dump and I keep my home relatively clean (with a maid to help once a week) but I'm not nearly obsessed about it being perfect like I used to. I can think of many more interesting things to do with my time. I remember reading a post on Facebook a couple of years ago where someone asked in a group how many times other people washed the bed linen. I was totally shocked by the answers. Most people said at least once a week and some said every day. I shuddered. I couldn't help making some comment about germo-phobes. Don't think it was taken too well. I'm probably really slack in this regard, but hey, who wants to spend their whole lives washing sheets? Sure, if you have a major allergy issue, it may be good (although I think ultra-cleanliness probably exacerbates these things) but I just can't wrap my head around washing my sheets every day! Imagine that when you have four beds in the house! One woman I read about in a magazine vacuums her mattresses and sheets every day. Heaven, help me.
9. Many of those things they pumped into me in religion aren't true and were made up by people wanting to control others. More and more, I see how man creates systems which harm people and don't help them and that we're a lot better off listening to common sense and gut feel than platitudes and rigid rules and bizarre guidelines. We're actually pretty smart, us humans - we just don't realise it.
10. Ditch fashion and fitting in. I'll dress how I like, thank you very much. I think I dropped that one years ago although even in the days when I felt compelled to follow the fashions, I was never particularly good at it. I've always been a hippie at heart.
11. Oh, and I nearly forgot - parents. They were mostly right all these years and I was wrong, but I was too blind to see it.
Anyone else changed since they've gotten older? I'd love to hear your things.
Posted by Kathy Bosman at Wednesday, May 18, 2016