Tuesday, November 29, 2016

What I'm Up To and Why My Year Wasn't a Total Flop

Due to my divorce announcement halfway through the year, I've only completed writing one book the whole year, well, one that is publishable. I've written short stories and completed a few things, but nothing solid.

And it's the end of the year when my mind and body are tired, so I don't know if I'm going to get much writing done until next year.

I also set a reading goal on Goodreads which I have barely skimmed. So, quite a few of my goals this year haven't been reached.

I'm not being hard on myself. I have a very good reason.

Yet, I've managed to achieve some wonderful things like starting up my editing business and my Reiki business. And learning to cope with the divorce without crawling up into a little ball and ceasing to exist. And I've brought out some of my album books with the help of my editor, Zee Monodee. Last but not least, I've compiled the anthology - Second Chances. That was huge fun.

Anyway, the last few months I've done more non-fiction reading than anything else. I first read divorce coping books which were really good and useful, then recently I've navigated toward the dating advice books and podcasts which I'm drinking in. I want a relationship again. I don't enjoy being single. Sure, I do need to heal and take time for myself, and that's still possible, but I'm all ready to get going again and meet someone special.

The strangest part is that I feel like I'm a toddler learning to walk all over again. I didn't really date much before I got married twenty-odd years ago. It's a totally new dimension of life for me. But I'm learning a ton of new things. I'm learning all over again what to look for in a guy and what a good relationship should be like. I'm discovering what it feels like to fall for someone and then discover they're not right for me after all. I'm discovering what women should know about men and how much they should aim for being respected as well as loved. I'm also learning how to love and respect myself. I'm building up my self-worth. And although I don't feel like the divorce was my fault, I'm deeply aware of mistakes I made which may have led to it. It doesn't mean I'm a failure. A failure is someone who doesn't get up and try all over again.

I even signed up for a Relationship Psychology Course which is proving hard work but great fun. And I'm thinking, maybe it's a good thing that I'm not doing much writing at the moment. I'm in the learning stage - like a sponge soaking up info. All the things I'm experiencing and reading up about are going to help my romance writing. So, I'm not going to be hard on myself for not writing much this year. Whatever happens, I'll grow as a person and become a better writer. Sometimes we need to live a little to write better.

Maybe I'll write a dating advice book one day. 😉

What have you discovered in the quieter patches when your writing isn't going full steam ahead? Have you learned to go easy on yourself when life gets in the way?


  1. Gosh, you've been through it this year, Kathy. You've done the right thing, cutting yourself some slack. Wishing you all the best x