Thursday, April 27, 2017


Every now and then, I like to post something personal in my blog just because writing is cathartic to me. So, here goes:

Being single at 46 poses quite a challenge. I certainly feel more fulfilled having someone in my life, so I've embarked on a new adventure - dating.

Even though it's only been a few months, I've already experienced quite an array of strange characters and situations. Because I work from home, online dating looks like the most immediate option, but I've come to the conclusion it's not easy because you really don't know what you're dealing with. And first dates are as scary as job interviews!! These are a couple of the crazy people I've met:

1. A man who told me we were fated together and after a few weeks, asks me for my bank account details. (Good thing I didn't take his flattery very seriously.)

2. A man who confessed to being married, but still "wanted to have fun." When I asked him what his wife would think, he said, "she does the same."

3. Another one who asked for a naked pic before we'd even met. Sigh...

4. Several from overseas who insisted that they visit my country sometimes and may be able to see me. (Really?) And I expressly said on my profile - only those who live in my city. Don't they read the fine print?

5. I saw a message today from a man who said, "Hi, Madam..., I'd like to be your friend." 

Today, I saw this really cute video which epitomizes the helpless feeling sometimes - the "when am I going to find this person who ticks all my boxes?" If you have time, you will love this:

I went on another date today and came home really confused. I mean, he was nice in so many ways - he even thinks like me in several very important aspects, but I just didn't like him. Like, what's wrong with me? He's a good man, or so it seems. And apparently, according to what I've heard, the good men at my age are usually taken already. So, don't pass him up, I've been told.

Sometimes when we feel really down, God / the universe (or whatever you believe) gives us a clear message. Today, I got the same message twice in a different form. The first one was "effortless" -letting things just flow naturally. I've been trying way too hard. The second one was "surrender" - that if we hold onto something or want something so badly, we make it worse. We must just let go and let God.

I'm actually fascinated by the fact that the book I'm writing at the moment is about a woman who thinks she has to settle for the good guy because he seems just right (in theory) and the one she really wants seems bad for her. Little does she realise (until later on in the book) that the man she can't resist actually does have a heart of gold. 

Here's a little excerpt from Cat Therapy:

He covered her cheeks with his palms and pressed his lips to hers. She felt the touch of his clean-shaven cheek. His mouth was smooth and soft, and he deepened the kiss. She waited for it—the fireworks, the undeniable pull, the irresistible lust that she’d experienced with Jeff. Nothing. He kissed longer and sought her tongue. Reluctantly she gave hers. As their tongues touched, she felt a twinge of something light up within her so she tucked up closer to him. He took that as an invitation to wrap her into an embrace. It felt comforting, nice actually. Just what she needed—safe and nice. Then he pulled away. She gave a shy smile.
“Good-night, Cherry.”
With an awkward stoop of his shoulders, he walked away and got into his car, not before offering a small wave and sheepish grin. Cherry waved back and slipped inside, locking the door behind her. Maisy waited for her at the door. She picked up the cat and snuggled her against her cheek. The feline sniffed her mouth, making her giggle. “Ah, so you can scent a man on me.”
Maisy purred. “Do you think he’s a good man?”

She answered with a small mew. If only cats could give life-altering advice. Suppose she had time. No rush for the feelings to arrive. They would in time. Seb seemed like the perfect man. Everything he’d told her today matched up with her criteria for the love of her life. Maybe the hurt from the past was holding her back from giving her all. If she learned to trust, she would eventually open up to his love, like the lotus flower.


  1. I have a friend in her early fifties who is separated, but terribly scared to date. So you are not alone, Kathy.

    You are right about surrendering to God's will. In the fullness of time, HE makes all things beautiful.

    Good luck with your upcoming book dearie.

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