Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Finding Peace in the Chaos

Yesterday I went off Facebook because I became so anxious every time I opened it. There were so many posts about a planned pandemic, and evil vaccines, and how our government is ruining our lives. I understand. People are afraid and they are looking for answers. They don't trust the media anymore. We live in such uncertain and confusing times.

But we can still maintain a semblance of peace in our inner being. We have to. Our mental health is vital for our survival - if we're mentally healthy, it keeps us strong.

I read this beautiful poem in a blog I follow and I thought I would share it. Let's try to make the most of every moment, try to be grateful for the littlest things, and find joy. Cut off those negative things from your life that bring you down and focus on nourishing and strengthening your family. Realize that strength doesn't mean ignoring your emotions and needs. In fact, taking care of your mental health is a strength.

"I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; it’s just not their task.
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; it already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness.
I believe, I Believe."
-Mary Anne Perrone


Sending lots of love and peace to my beloved readers.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Working with My Shadow and Inner Child

As some of you may know, I am going to bring out a second self-love book. The plan is for it to be edited in April and hopefully brought out late April, early May. It's called "Falling Even Deeper - 30 More Days of Self-Love." Sometimes, our ability to love ourselves gets challenged by life and difficulties and relationships. We need to go deeper so we can rise up to meet those challenges and love ourselves through them. The book was born out of a challenging time after I wrote the first book - when my self-love got tested.

Two topics I touch on in the book are working with your shadow self and your inner child. I feel that this is a lifetime work and I only skimmed the surface in the book. This month I've gone inward a bit to work on those two areas some more.

It started after I went on a couple of dates with a guy I met. I really liked him and saw a potential between us, but then, after a few weeks, he told me he wasn't in a place for a relationship. He has gone through a lot of transition and stress lately. I told him I understood, but I was deeply disappointed. I've been struggling with it on and off since. Maybe it's because he's a guy I feel I have a lot more in common with than other ones I've gone on dates with. We have similar beliefs about life and religion and we share other similarities. Sure, I don't know him that well, but I felt an emotional bond with him almost from the beginning. I'm very cautious and I test the waters in a new relationship. Possibly my reticence put him off; I don't know.

Anyway, I felt ready to find someone this year, and I hoped that this was my chance. The longing to have a relationship has become stronger and stronger as I've healed from my divorce. I think about it often. Sometimes, I feel sad and lonely. I have my wonderful kids and they are great friends. They really are amazing people. But sometimes, I want that romantic relationship that fills a different spot. It's not that I'm not a happy person; in fact I have so many wonderful things in my life that fulfil me, but this desire for a romantic relationship doesn't seem to want to go away.

Anyway, I kind of got tired of this feeling the past few weeks. It doesn't help that online dating is a complete dead end. It seems that people go on dating sites either for hookups, catfishing, or to get validation that women like them, but they don't actually message you back or make any effort to start a relationship. A lot of the guys on the sites have had their pictures up for years and never taken them down. Sometimes, the dating sites do that. I work from home and most of my social groups comprise of women. How do I find someone, I keep thinking. Anyhoo...

I tried to think where this all-consuming need for a relationship has come from. I mean, many people have learned to be totally fulfilled as singles. The idea that we need to have a partner is something our culture has blown out of proportion. It's made out to be the answer to all our needs. Surely, I can do well without a partner.
pexels.com Photo by nappy at nappy.co

So, why was I still feeling this empty spot? I thought back to a time when I was a kid, after my mother died. I felt really lonely then. I didn't have great friendships at school; my brother was a whole lot older than me and we didn't play together; my dad was battling his own grief and stress as a single dad. I used to write down everything I did each day in my diary. That was the only way I could get things off my chest. That feeling of abandonment was real. And I think that's the shadow work that I need to work on. I decided to do an inner child healing meditation this morning. It was really powerful. I thought back to that time in my life when I only had a diary to pour out my feelings on. I loved on that child. I loved my inner child. I told her I appreciated her. I told her sorry and please forgive me (based on the Ho'oponopono prayer) and I gave her a hug. And then it just hit me - like right between the eyes, ha. I suddenly realised that I had to go through that for a reason. I believe that we choose the lessons we have to learn in this life but that we are never alone. Whatever you believe is your higher power, and the angels, and guides, are with us all the time. We are always surrounded by love, more than we could ever imagine. That lonely feeling is just an earthly thing that we go through - I see it almost as a veil over our eyes that one day will be taken off.  It's a heavy earthly energy that we CAN overcome! We are always supported. I was never alone through those moments and the moments when my ex left me or I lost a relationship. I am always surrounded by love and those who love me, in the physical human world, and in the spiritual world. And I can be there for myself.

The thing is - writing in my diary was the first glimmers of my writing passion, or my life calling. It got me onto that road. And I thought of all the wonderful things I had in my childhood - my father spoiled me with a beautiful room, with a fancy hi-fi set and so much music, and I had many fun experiences, and he was really good to us. As in the present, we need to look at the good things in our lives and be grateful, so I had an opportunity to go back into my past and change my whole perspective of that lonely moment. It healed me. I was buzzing with joy and life afterward.

There are so many benefits with going inward in silence or in meditation and working with our inner child. Anyone can benefit, even if they had a close to perfect childhood. Because we need to get in touch with our inner child as it's a part of us that needs love, even when we're ninety years old. Our inner child taps into our passionate, innocent, free, joyful side. We need to get that back because sometimes we can be way too serious. I'm talking to myself here too. It's a part of ourselves that's in touch with our raw, basic need for love, attention, validation. When we deny that we have those needs, they get suppressed. When we condemn them or send ourselves shame for longing for those things, we actually make them scream out louder. But when we accept that there is a raw, childish, needy part of ourselves, and love on that part, we heal and grow and become more loving and peaceful toward ourselves and others.

I hope this blog post has spoken to you. I'm definitely still all for romance - I mean, I write romance. So even though I've been doing this work, it's still in my heart to find a beloved partner one day. I believe that this inner work is actually preparing me for a wonderful relationship. Hopefully soon! 💗




Friday, February 21, 2020

Author Interview - Cynthia Terelst

Today, I am doing a spotlight on Cynthia Terelst's contemporary romance, The Cat's out of The Bag. Ooh, and it has cats! There's something magical about a man and woman taking a road trip together and discovering each other. So, there's that too. I've also interviewed Cynthia so you can learn more about her.

Blurb:

One van. Two hearts. Thousands of kilometres. 

Jesse’s a self-made billionaire who yearns to get away from his empty life and the money-hungry parasites who inhabit it. The plan? Go to Australia, tell no one about his money and find himself. Instead of finding just himself, he finds Evie, who is everything anyone should aspire to be. Now, what he aspires to be, is hers. But to be hers, he needs to tell her everything.

Evie has left her past behind. She has rebuilt herself, and her life, into one of happiness. After she meets Jesse, while volunteering at a cat shelter, memories of her past filter back in. She is stronger now and wants to trust him. But after all she has been through, is trust even possible?

The quest to find a cat a forever home leads them to travel across the country together. Can the close quarters drive them to open up to each other? Or will it drive them apart?

Short Excerpt

Jesse

The wave petered out, and I paddled back to the line-up. Sitting, watching, waiting. The constant breeze in my ears and the sound of waves breaking relaxed me. Lulled by the gentle rise and fall of the swells, I thought about Evie.

She was one of the most complicated people I’d ever met. Whatever she had been through had made her strong and independent. But underneath, she was all doubt. I could see her trying to be brave, but that could change in an instant as her insecurities took over. I felt like it was a fight between Nick and me, and I didn’t even know the guy. I didn’t know how to beat a ghost. But I would. I would figure it out, and I would gain Evie’s trust, bit by bit.

Her. Me. That’s what I would strive for.


Buy Link

https://www.amazon.com/Cats-out-Bag-billionaire-international-ebook/dp/B07ZC2Y2PG


Author Bio

Cynthia Terelst is a project officer by day and a writer by night. She is a contemporary romance writer who likes to share a little bit of history, some Australian scenery and a whole lotta love. Cynthia does not shy away from difficult topics, as she feels that they should not be ignored.

She lives in Queensland, Australia, where the sun shines at least 283 days a year.


Social Media Links

Website http://cynthiaterelst.com/

Newsletter https://www.subscribepage.com/p9p9y0

Blog http://cynthiaterelst.com/blog/

Twitter @CynthiaTerelst


Author Interview

1. What is the best thing for you about being a writer?

The best thing is that I can let my imagination run loose. I love making up characters and telling their stories. I like to share Australian culture, history and scenery in my books while creating love stories people can feel.


2. What is the hardest thing for you about being a writer?
The hardest thing for me is marketing. It’s fine to say you have written a good book and you have done everything you can to make that book polished, like professional cover art, editing and proof reading, but getting it in front of your audience is the hard part. There are so many different aspects to marketing that it can make my head hurt.


3. What genre/s do you write and what genre is your latest release?
I write young adult and contemporary romance. My latest release is The Cat’s out of the Bag which is based in Australia.


4. What essential things have you learned about writing in the last year?

I have learned amazing things over the past year, which was my first year of writing with the aim of being published. I have learned about the three-act structure – most books follow this. I have learned the importance of character arcs – how your characters change throughout the novel. I have learned about beta reading and the fact that there are three types of editing. There is so much to know about writing that I will never have time to learn it all.


5. Who is your favourite heroine from your books and why?

My favourite heroine is Evie. She came out of a bad relationship and rebuilt her life. She always has a positive outlook and tries to extend herself.


6. Tell us three quirky or interesting things about yourself.

· My daughter and I travelled around Australia for three years with our cat and dog

· I foster kittens for a local rescue

· I have swum with sharks, jumped out of a plane, swum with seals, rode a bike around a dormant volcano, jumped off cliffs and white-water rafted.


7. What rituals do you use to help you focus or get the words down on the page e.g. music or a snack?
It depends on the day. Some days I like to work in the quiet and other days I like to have some background noise. In my latest book I mention Elton John, which then led to me listening to his greatest hits while writing.


8. Mention something unique about your books and your writing style.

I like to write about difficult subjects. Some that I have touched on are bullying, sexual harassment, domestic violence and loss. They are all good subjects to base emotional wounds on. I add some comedy into the story line because I don’t like to read a romance filled with heavy scenes. But no matter what the situation, there is always hope and love, and a happily-ever-after.


9. What book would you like to work on next?
My next book, Let Sleeping Dogs Lie, is the second in my Love Down Under series. It is a second-chance romance based around a scavenger hunt created by Shepherd in an attempt to win back his lost love, Tara.



Wow, that sounds so interesting, Cynthia. You are so adventurous!